Visit slc result 2067

Hi Friends,
Slc result, board of Government of Nepal for the year 2068 will be published on 20th June 2011

The results can be viewed on the website

www.soce.gov.np

and

www.slc.ntc.np

Wish you all the best to all...

Regards

(visit my other article, you might enjoy it)

Beautiful horizon after rain!!!

Beautiful horizon after rain, beautiful click of beach...
(my self click)


Nature is always beautiful!!!!

~~That Pain~~

After more than a year, I finally could write a poem (I call this as poem, but may not be Poem in Reality).

Thanks to my God for helping me with this poem!!!

You might have noticed a pain within you, and may be, your understanding could have lead to identify the limit of tough phase your love might be carrying. We ourselves and within our confidence, we can resolve the every big obstacles. But for the little pain your love carries within them, they isolate their-selves or go out of your life, just to avoid hurting you....

Can any pain be greater than this?

I am unable to describe this situation properly, but yeah, Here I am penning a topic something close of my heart which I wanted to sketch from long ago...!!!

~~THAT PAIN~~

On those moments, when you were with frustration and pain
And throwing me outside, you had asked me to leave the train;
Staying in an isolated room, when you ignored my every call,
My dear, with paranoid, that was time I got so much concerned.

Believe me; I just stayed outside that room, waiting for your move
To hold your hands, in my arms for the other time to hug and love;
Anxious on myself, for door to be opened, I waited for so long
Dreaming only you, missing only you, I recalled our favorite song.

Even after those all, I promise, I shall always be within you there
Say me sweetheart, obstacles occurred can’t be cleared together?
My love, life hurts. Still, believe me, we will overcome very future
All know, Love can heal everything, can’t we walk being together?

Whatever be the time, however they be, we will sail every hurdles
Keep faith on your trust; new morning will soon come for both of us;
Your ignorance during those pains, that’s all I can never resist, never
My prayers for you, My Joy on to you, God bless be with us, forever.

***********************************

P.S. Yeah, Your smiles bring joy to me, sufficient enough to forget out all of my pain, but, my sweetheart, pain through any of your moment, I truly can't resist them. And for my inability to be physically with you during your pain, they have hurt me lot...

My presence might not swallow all your pain, because it should be you who should conquer all of these hurdles, still, don’t let me be stranger in this journey!!!

I know, there are many people in your life who can be with you during your pain. I know my god is with you to keep you safe. It assures me, you will fulfill your every dream, some day soon, but still, it doesn't give me satisfaction because your smiles means lot to me and your tears, that is what it makes me unresisting...
Keep smiling,

Love
Suraj

~~The departure && the Beginning~~

~~The departure and the beginning~~

“You are so late? You know na, today I need to hurry for my exams”

“Yeah I know” she said

She was always beautiful, but don’t know why I felt, today her beauty was in the best I have ever seen.

Still, there was something hidden with this most beautiful girl of my life. She was trying to smile but she couldn’t. And I could notice, the pain she is carrying today, it was not like as I had seen before. This shouldn’t be of pain on body part and I am sure, till this morning, she didn’t have fever. My heart wanted to be clarified that nothing such has happened with her and I was waiting to hear from her, I wanted to be with the moments.

“We should depart now, time to go” she was trying to explain for something which she will never mean it.

“Yeah, we shall after ten minutes… but let’s have coffee please”

This time she really was trying to make me understand about something, yet those words, might be they wanted to remain as unspoken. She gave a deep breath and said, “Please try to understand me, situation is never like of before and its better we break up here!!!”

Yeah, situation never remained as of before, not even as like of ten minutes earlier. I wished it is just a bad joke, but I was again sure, this was something serious because even in unconscious, her heart will never deliver such painful phrases. I gave a deep look to her eye, hidden inside it was the enormous quake she recently experienced in her life, may be just few hours ago. I wanted to ask her, to get it shared, but alas, I couldn’t. Because, not any of the time earlier, I had a need to say those words, “you can share it with me” nor I ever said, “Are you hiding anything from me?” every time she had something, I was the first one she used to get it shared. She not only accepted me for what I am, but she was the one who made me belief. The belief of happening of miracles, coz, getting her was the biggest miracle I had experienced in my life a year ago.

For all of those her trust, she never and never took a single promise from me. She had faith on me, that too from the very beginning of our relationship and she never doubted on me. I know, even today she doesn’t have any doubt on me but my sensibility, which had doctrine in understanding her silence, had itself got blank today, unaware about the situation that had really made them occur.

I couldn’t even show my emotions here, because on the other side of table, tears were dropping at rapidness from her eye. For many of the unsaid words, I couldn’t ask her the reason behind this decision, because had it been sharable, she would have shared it herself.

Not only the situation, it looked climate too have started to change. The sun, coming towards the central sky was unable to give that glow within her. My surrounding was getting darker and for those future plans we carried together seemed fading, in search of existence…

Even today she was with the silence on most of the time and those silence revealed, she is with the greatest pain of her life, it should really be the pain of departure… I again couldn’t ask what the real pressure was behind this decision, but however managed to ask, “can this decision be reconsidered?”

"No Suraj, it’s the final one, my parents are badly against this relation and for further you can understand every other remaining situation."

Yes, I do. I can understand. I too have understood her love towards me and that to her family. Earlier, Many instances where she had to choose just one had arrived but she tackled all of them very carefully. And giving consolation to me, sometime leaning on my arm, and sometime keeping my hand as her pillow, she used to have rest and short sleep. After she used to get up, she had repeatedly said, she had a very beautiful dream and she wants them to be fulfilled very soon. She never shared what those dreams were, but from her glowing lips, I could realize, those happiness was meant for both of us.

Is it that some tremendous pressure had made her to come today with this decision?

“Will you ever be able to forget me?”

Silly me, I regretted myself for asking this question. How could I? Hadn’t I realized the truth? Her numerous attempts to correct my dance steps, she holding my hands in every situation, the way she mentioned me in her life, and not the least, sweetness of those exciting kisses we shared, they reviled, I am integral part of her life, unforgettable till the eternity.

With my question, she showed the hesitation. Perhaps she was reminded the flashback of our love life, but she also had an assurance; her love will understand the complexity she is facing now.

Looking at her watch, she said, “I am getting late; please try to forget me…”

Don’t know if for the last time, I seriously wanted to hug her, but I didn’t. I touched her cheeks softly by both of my hand and kissing her forehead, I said, “I’ll be praying for you always”

She rubbed her tears, and she stood up heading to go away. I once again repeated, “Sweet heart, I shall miss you lot”.

Finally she had the small bunch of smile, but again, yet with the silent and tears, she got my hands hold with her and said, “take care of your health, have proper food and yeah, I wish we can meet again in the next life.”

To give her last laugh from my side, I replied, “na, it won’t be possible”

“Why?”

“Because, as a christian, I believe only on two lives, one with the body and other one as life after God’s arrival.”

Time passing was being like the nightmares and I knew, they were not a dream. But with the hope, one day everything can be restored again, I again said, “I’ll be waiting for you always, and I am confident enough, you will come back very soon…”

“I wish I could, but sorry, I can’t… My Departure from your life will hurt you for some days, but again, one day, time will heal every pain. God will be with you and I am sure, he has some special plan for you. I pray, the beginning is yet to occur in your life. Beginning of the new phase, new time and your new days where someone else will hold the place you have allotted for me, and with the smile, you will say her, “my life would have been incomplete had you not arrived for me”

“And you, what about you then?”

“Me? Hmmm… Looking at your mails, post cards and gift, I shall think, why didn’t I threw it earlier?” With the consoling smile, she said, “life needs to go on, and I too need to go….”

She started to walk. She walked faster than me. I wish she could turn back for once, but she didn’t.

Physics exam was horrible. Bernoulli’s theorem had gone blank and even the Newton’s third law of motion, others were forgettable. Next two days were painful. I cried and cried, hoping God will send her back again, but he didn’t.

But as she had proposed, a new phase had already begun. I tried sketching my tears, they were painful, but volatile one. What remained was my passion to write, and they remained with me as my hobbies. A new life was experienced then; then I could realize her departure was just God’s plan, for something to begin in my life.

I experienced another miracle as I passed my physics exam. How did I passed, it is still a mystery for me!

Two years has passed by then, she never turned back, but sometime, only on dreams, she never stopped coming for me. It was a painful to be away from someone whom we loved so much, but I again recall, life was never easier for her too, because as a girl and as a true partner, I can understand how sensitive and loving she was…

Even if my greetings and gifts are already thrown today, I hope you will be with the same smile as you had some day in your life.

Dear Friends, it is too hard to accept the realities of departure and the beginning, but believe me, Those wonderful moments of your life was just an another plan by almighty to give you eternal happiness and to let you reach your success…

Lastly, my beloved love, wherever you are, God be with you always…

And I believe, you are too settled with the new beginning in your life…

Comments always welcome!!!

~~Love is still in the air~~

~~Love is still in the air~~

Time was changing and I wanted to adopt this change. I wanted to dream and I wanted to achieve a lot of unachievable goals of realistic dream in my life. On every moment, I lost, I used to make myself more determined to climb the summit I have ever even imagined to reach.



This time it looked like I lost everything. My ever cool mind had started asking many questions of why, why and why? But even in this tensed moment, my heart never stopped dreaming. Unachievable dream leads to instability and high curiosity in life; I could realize it once again because this time things were completely different.



Neha, Neha and Neha… although my mind was assured of not getting this beautiful black beauty in my life, the other part of my body had not stopped showing its unusual characteristics when she used to rise in my surrounding. She was engaged, my heart knew it and even my mind. Still I had not stopped praying for her. Still, she has not stopped coming in my dreams, not only to be my inspiration but with claim “she will be the same who shall be with me in coming future.”



Even in this unusual closeness, I was very very far from heart of my beautiful princess. Trying to be lost inside her angelic eye was my recent hobby, but at the same time among the mass and among her again, I had to react that she is not more than a stranger for me. I was afraid to talk to her; I was forced to hide my smile in front of her. I wanted to be her friend at least, but sometime I feel if whether we are destined to be stranger forever and for eternity!





It was Friday. We used to have only 3 lectures. Today I wanted to know the truth behind her relationship status, promising myself that if she is engaged I will never be on her way, and if not, I shall try speaking to her as soon as possible and will try gifting her some bunch of smile for what she means to me! Still the other part of my heart assures my mind, whatever be the result I shall be praying for her always.



Asking question of engagement to Neha herself was not the correct way for many unsaid reason, so I decided asking one of her close friend. After my lecture period got over, I went outside college building and sat under the tree where students used to wait for their friends. I needed to wait 50 more minutes to get answer to my question if Neha is really engaged? To predict the answer, I sometime used to toss the coin as head or tail, always praying the outcome to be “she is not engaged”. At the time, the toss used to predict “she is still single” my heart used to get a huge relief, and I remember I had tried it repeatedly to increase the satisfaction. Sometimes even going to next question, “will I get her in my life?” “Will I be able to talk with her tomorrow?” and many more unanswered question. Sometime the outcome of toss used to be pinching my heart and to make result in my favor, I used to extend the toss game as “best of 3”, “best of 5” “best of 7” and so on, until the result used to support that it’s my day today. I even plucked out the petals of the flowers with count “she is engaged… she is not… she is... Not… she is … she is not...” and so on….



Perhaps these all were showing that the seed of love which was planted before 6 months has been enrooted to the every corner of my heart.



The duration of 50 minutes was never so long earlier as it was on that day. I was trying to sort out the reliable name that I could ask this question, but the very next minute I felt I was in Coma! With well fitted brown top and light brown jeans, lady of my heart was coming out of the college gate. Physical distance between two of us was decreasing at a rapid pace, and as usual for me, the whole surroundings had gone blank. I could see no one except her. Fairness of her skin was unruffled by the sun heat. The shining untied brown hair was one of the best features I felt she had. She always used to match her ear ring, her nail polish and even sandal with her dress. At a few occasions, I have always observed the different colorful shades of lipstick she applied, else her lips frequently had shining mirage covered with transparent lip gloss and in every form of her dressing, and she was beyond compare. To match her brown dressing, today she had brown lipstick bounded by the black liner. Even her ear ring, her belt and her leather sandal too! They all were brown. Of course, for these wonderful dress up I definitely won’t re-name her as “brown beauty” or something else.



Just few meter away from me, she stopped to wait for her friends. She gave me a look and in no time turned towards the gate. Perhaps as for me, her mind might have got few questions about me like, “isn’t this the same moron who was staring at me in physics lab?”, or may be “why on the earth is he standing here?” or maybe she may be with the thought, “had I seen this guy somewhere?” or ... or maybe she was lost in her heart with her favorite regional song! I tried to open my mouth, but my inability to talk in front of her was just like a dumb person who has lost his voice since the birth.



I should at least said “hello” but even to be ensured that this procedure is not wrong; it took me a lot of time. Finally when I decided to say a few words, her friend Nisha came out of the college building repeatedly saying “sorry”. Neha pointed finger towards the watch on her hand, perhaps she was expressing uneasiness on her being late. This time I couldn’t talk to her but from my inner heart, I definitely thanked Nisha for being late. They hurriedly went away, and I could only say “turn back once Neha…” which only my heart could hear. To test if my love is true and if my heart has connection with her hearts I repeatedly murmured, “please turn back once…” but she never did… and perhaps it was the today’s answer, “till today, destiny has no plans of connecting two of our hearts together”

Soon one of her closer class mate Gaurab came out of gate. Though Neha and I had a lot of mutual friends, Gaurab was the only one with whom I had shared some moments of my life too! So this time without thinking twice, I decided to get the answer of my curiosity from him. But again! To what degree shall I turn the question so that he may not have any question in his mind which I never want to answer, in fact I never want my one sided crush to get exposed among people!

Gaurab saw me sitting below the tree, and I greeted him “hi”. He came towards me. For the formality, I asked him about his study. His answer was, “it’s going fine, but need some extra luck for exam”. I wished him good luck. He wanted to know why I was sitting below the tree. I replied “waiting for a friend, but I don’t know if he will really come”. Gaurab used to go his home by train, so I asked him, are you going towards station? He replied “yes”. As even my destination was also the station, we started walking together…

Neha had the subject combination of Physics, chemistry and Mathematics. They were in “A” division while we were settled in B division. One of the special qualities of “A” division students was their unity and they had a very strong group. Don’t know if it was the chemistry bonding lecture effect which had made their bonding stronger. Their group had participated in every function of college curriculum activities. I continued the talk with Gaurab, “so u people are enjoying the college life? Anything special there?”

He replied: “No, as final exams are fast approaching we are busy finalizing practical journals and assignments”

“Still first year of college will definitely be a memorable one for you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, quite memorable, few lectures, few bunking, few parties and many things, we had been enjoying it to our fullest…”

Parties! Well, now I got some hint to ask. So being curious to find my answer, I asked him, “oh yeah, recently I heard you people were partying one of yours friend’s post engagement celebration? Is it so?”

This time with a surprise on his face, he asked me, “but how did you knew about this?”

This unexpected reply of Gaurab almost de-oxidized my blood, this means the information of her engagement must be a true and my heart started visualizing my attendance of her marriage which might be occuring in few years. My world seemed like quaked with higher rector scale and I was searching for an emergency exit when Gaurab re-framed the question, “who told you about Neha’s engagement?”

I answered, “We have physics practical on a same day in same laboratory so her friends were discussing about her post-engagement party in practical lab itself, I got to know it from their discussion.”

On our way to the station, I normally used to have Chinese bhel, but this time I wanted to eat nothing. Within a few seconds we passed Chinese bhel wala, there comes sugarcane juice shop. Gaurab offered me juice. Although I was not a fan of sugarcane juice, I didn’t reject his offer and we each had a glass of sugar-cane juice. His answer had made two of us silent for few minutes until he again restarted the conversation.

“Last month, Neha was absent in the college for about one week, only few of us knew why she was absent and no one else in the class knew about it, so the rumor of her engagement got spread in the whole class”

Gaurab’s few last words brought some interest in me and I began talking as if the sugarcane juice has invoked some calories and instant energy in my body. His word “rumor” was vividly explaining everything, still trying to talk less, I replied him, “rumor! Means?”

“Actually it was her brother’s marriage and when she was absent, someone spread the rumor that she is getting married, this trend continued until she herself clarified it. As her birthday treat was pending she threw the party, she invited few of us to her house on weekend.”

This means the toss of coin was speaking the truth, this means may be she will accept me as her friend in my life and of course I wanted nothing more than this. Those confirmation words of Gaurab gave me infinite joy and excitement and my heart had already started singing beautiful song, it asking my body to dance though according to me I am the worst dancer and worst singer in entire world…

Soon we reached the platform and at the same time train to his Ambernath arrived in platform number 1. In a hurry, Gaurab shook hands, wishing good bye and he boarded his train. 30 seconds later, my train arrived in the opposite platform where I boarded in my usual compartment. Although first class compartment is almost vacant at this hour, I didn’t sit anywhere as I was not tired today and perhaps I wanted to experience the blow of the speeding wind. Cool breeze of air was getting reflected through my face hoping this air will make her realize “she is one whom my mind remembers the whole day and my heart architects the time spent with her. At the same time, my eyes are asking me to dream for the upcoming days and she being with me in those wonderful moments in that dream home. As per my promise which I had made to myself thatI will definitely talk to her the next day because interacting with this sweet pie has been the recent ambition of my life and more than about the planning of examination, I was concentrating on what else I need to do to be her friend because I wanted to be her friend and never wanted to lose her then onwards. Yeah, being friends with someone was not a great job at all, but I had hidden love for Neha, I too had tremendous respect for this beautiful girl of my life and the same respect for her had stopped me from talking to her, not once, not twice but umpteen number of time because I had an unanswered question, “Am I eligible to be a friend of this angel whose charm had softened each and every heart of the college?” This time, story of my life looked so simple, yet very complicated. People might ignore to accept what all is happening to me, yet my heart is a testimony of all, it’s realistic and it is the truth of my life. From the stage of place where my chat history with Neha is blank, I am finding love is still in the air, with match on balance and I know I should capitalize my luck. Don’t know how I shall be doing this, but if not done early, may be someone will come and I’ll be catch-out and sent out of the pavilion.



~~Love is still in the air~~



Thanks to my Lord for being with me throughout.

To be continued-----
(Friends, i will post the remaining part very soon, keep visiting..!!)