~~The departure and the beginning~~
“You are so late? You know na, today I need to hurry for my exams”
“Yeah I know” she said
She was always beautiful, but don’t know why I felt, today her beauty was in the best I have ever seen.
Still, there was something hidden with this most beautiful girl of my life. She was trying to smile but she couldn’t. And I could notice, the pain she is carrying today, it was not like as I had seen before. This shouldn’t be of pain on body part and I am sure, till this morning, she didn’t have fever. My heart wanted to be clarified that nothing such has happened with her and I was waiting to hear from her, I wanted to be with the moments.
“We should depart now, time to go” she was trying to explain for something which she will never mean it.
“Yeah, we shall after ten minutes… but let’s have coffee please”
This time she really was trying to make me understand about something, yet those words, might be they wanted to remain as unspoken. She gave a deep breath and said, “Please try to understand me, situation is never like of before and its better we break up here!!!”
Yeah, situation never remained as of before, not even as like of ten minutes earlier. I wished it is just a bad joke, but I was again sure, this was something serious because even in unconscious, her heart will never deliver such painful phrases. I gave a deep look to her eye, hidden inside it was the enormous quake she recently experienced in her life, may be just few hours ago. I wanted to ask her, to get it shared, but alas, I couldn’t. Because, not any of the time earlier, I had a need to say those words, “you can share it with me” nor I ever said, “Are you hiding anything from me?” every time she had something, I was the first one she used to get it shared. She not only accepted me for what I am, but she was the one who made me belief. The belief of happening of miracles, coz, getting her was the biggest miracle I had experienced in my life a year ago.
For all of those her trust, she never and never took a single promise from me. She had faith on me, that too from the very beginning of our relationship and she never doubted on me. I know, even today she doesn’t have any doubt on me but my sensibility, which had doctrine in understanding her silence, had itself got blank today, unaware about the situation that had really made them occur.
I couldn’t even show my emotions here, because on the other side of table, tears were dropping at rapidness from her eye. For many of the unsaid words, I couldn’t ask her the reason behind this decision, because had it been sharable, she would have shared it herself.
Not only the situation, it looked climate too have started to change. The sun, coming towards the central sky was unable to give that glow within her. My surrounding was getting darker and for those future plans we carried together seemed fading, in search of existence…
Even today she was with the silence on most of the time and those silence revealed, she is with the greatest pain of her life, it should really be the pain of departure… I again couldn’t ask what the real pressure was behind this decision, but however managed to ask, “can this decision be reconsidered?”
"No Suraj, it’s the final one, my parents are badly against this relation and for further you can understand every other remaining situation."
Yes, I do. I can understand. I too have understood her love towards me and that to her family. Earlier, Many instances where she had to choose just one had arrived but she tackled all of them very carefully. And giving consolation to me, sometime leaning on my arm, and sometime keeping my hand as her pillow, she used to have rest and short sleep. After she used to get up, she had repeatedly said, she had a very beautiful dream and she wants them to be fulfilled very soon. She never shared what those dreams were, but from her glowing lips, I could realize, those happiness was meant for both of us.
Is it that some tremendous pressure had made her to come today with this decision?
“Will you ever be able to forget me?”
Silly me, I regretted myself for asking this question. How could I? Hadn’t I realized the truth? Her numerous attempts to correct my dance steps, she holding my hands in every situation, the way she mentioned me in her life, and not the least, sweetness of those exciting kisses we shared, they reviled, I am integral part of her life, unforgettable till the eternity.
With my question, she showed the hesitation. Perhaps she was reminded the flashback of our love life, but she also had an assurance; her love will understand the complexity she is facing now.
Looking at her watch, she said, “I am getting late; please try to forget me…”
Don’t know if for the last time, I seriously wanted to hug her, but I didn’t. I touched her cheeks softly by both of my hand and kissing her forehead, I said, “I’ll be praying for you always”
She rubbed her tears, and she stood up heading to go away. I once again repeated, “Sweet heart, I shall miss you lot”.
Finally she had the small bunch of smile, but again, yet with the silent and tears, she got my hands hold with her and said, “take care of your health, have proper food and yeah, I wish we can meet again in the next life.”
To give her last laugh from my side, I replied, “na, it won’t be possible”
“Why?”
“Because, as a christian, I believe only on two lives, one with the body and other one as life after God’s arrival.”
Time passing was being like the nightmares and I knew, they were not a dream. But with the hope, one day everything can be restored again, I again said, “I’ll be waiting for you always, and I am confident enough, you will come back very soon…”
“I wish I could, but sorry, I can’t… My Departure from your life will hurt you for some days, but again, one day, time will heal every pain. God will be with you and I am sure, he has some special plan for you. I pray, the beginning is yet to occur in your life. Beginning of the new phase, new time and your new days where someone else will hold the place you have allotted for me, and with the smile, you will say her, “my life would have been incomplete had you not arrived for me”
“And you, what about you then?”
“Me? Hmmm… Looking at your mails, post cards and gift, I shall think, why didn’t I threw it earlier?” With the consoling smile, she said, “life needs to go on, and I too need to go….”
She started to walk. She walked faster than me. I wish she could turn back for once, but she didn’t.
Physics exam was horrible. Bernoulli’s theorem had gone blank and even the Newton’s third law of motion, others were forgettable. Next two days were painful. I cried and cried, hoping God will send her back again, but he didn’t.
But as she had proposed, a new phase had already begun. I tried sketching my tears, they were painful, but volatile one. What remained was my passion to write, and they remained with me as my hobbies. A new life was experienced then; then I could realize her departure was just God’s plan, for something to begin in my life.
I experienced another miracle as I passed my physics exam. How did I passed, it is still a mystery for me!
Two years has passed by then, she never turned back, but sometime, only on dreams, she never stopped coming for me. It was a painful to be away from someone whom we loved so much, but I again recall, life was never easier for her too, because as a girl and as a true partner, I can understand how sensitive and loving she was…
Even if my greetings and gifts are already thrown today, I hope you will be with the same smile as you had some day in your life.
Dear Friends, it is too hard to accept the realities of departure and the beginning, but believe me, Those wonderful moments of your life was just an another plan by almighty to give you eternal happiness and to let you reach your success…
Lastly, my beloved love, wherever you are, God be with you always…
And I believe, you are too settled with the new beginning in your life…
Comments always welcome!!!
